Father and Son: A Discussion

Hey folks!  Are you ready for another exciting post that a lot of thought went into and was definitely not written in 15 minutes?  Of course you are!  You read this blog for the insightful discourse and the thought provoking debate that follows.  According to some very reliable sources (that I did not make up in my head), Chris Lackie – The Blog is the most intelligent website on the internet.

On a related note, have you guys ever seen the movie Zack and Miri Make a Porno?  I like the scene where the girl poops in the guy’s face.

Anyway, for this week’s post, I thought I would interview my not quite one-month old son.  Everyone wants to know what children are thinking, so why not ask one of the more handsome ones directly?  What I thought would be a fascinating discussion turned into the most interesting conversation I have ever had.  Without further adieu, here is my interview with my son.

Father:  Well son, you joined this world almost a month ago.  How have you been enjoying life?


Father:  Yes, it’s really hard to put into words, isn’t it?  Life is a most extraordinary thing, with so much adventure and excitement.  How about we focus on your home life?  What do you think of your parents?

Son:  *Blurp*

Father:  That’s a little harsh, isn’t it?  I mean, we’re new at this parenting thing.  You seem to be doing okay.  You appear to be eating enough, and you don’t really need much else.  Is there something you think we could improve on?

Son:  *Gyuk*

Father:  Hrm.  That’s a fair comment.  It’s something that your mother and I discussed before you were born.  I thought we settled on the right answer, but from what you’re saying it sounds like we’ll need to go back to the drawing board and re-evaluate our position.  I appreciate your feedback.

Son:  *Gurgle*

Father:  You just experienced your first Christmas and you were given a lot of presents.  Santa Claus even stopped by to give you an exer-saucer for when you’re a little older.  What do you think about your first big holiday?

Son:  *Eh-eh-eh-eh*

Father:  Yes, I agree that Christmas has gotten way too commercial, but it does give people a nice excuse to spend time with family.  For my birthday, your mother gave me the Batman Beyond box set.  You and I have watched about a dozen episodes already.  What do you think?

Son:  *Gah-ya-ya-ya-ya*

Father:  Haha! Yes!  Batman is the best, isn’t he?  Now I know you’re very busy, so how about I ask you one last question?  Do you need Daddy to change your bum?

Son:  That question is demeaning to us both.

Father:  Huh?  Sorry, what did you say?  I was distracted by a bit of lint on my sweater.

Son:  *Hiccup*

Father:  Aw do you have the hiccups, buddy?  Come here.

After I held my son until his hiccups went away and changed his bum, he promptly fell asleep.  Clearly our interview took a toll on him.  *Yawn*  Geez, I guess it took a lot out of me too.  Alright, I guess it’s nap time for everyone.