I’m not going to lie. I have done some pretty important things with this blog. For example, I recently brought to light an underground push-up competition in Belgium. It was sort of a big deal, and as you know, I would never oversell anything. I tell you this not to brag (it’s not bragging when it’s the truth), but so that you know I absolutely believe what I am about to say next: Today’s blog post may be the most important thing I’ve ever done. Ever. More important than graduating from university. More important than getting married and finding a job. Even more important than creating life. Today we’re going to talk about the greatest actor of all time: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
What most people don’t realize is that Arnold has an incredible range: Bad ass action hero and comedic genius. What other actor do you know that can pull off two acting styles, and, in some cases, blend them together perfectly?
This week, I thought we would reminisce and reflect on the artist that is Arnold Schwarzenegger. Here, in no particular order, are 5 of my favourite Schwarzenegger films, and reasons why I like them. Spoilers: I like them because they are awesome.
Total Recall (1990)
I never saw the remake, but I can’t imagine it’s even close to being as good as the original. I remember watching this movie with my parents (when I wasn’t nearly old enough to be watching it). I made it through the scene where Arnold’s eyes start bugging out of his head (and the 3-boobed lady), but I got totally freaked out by the mutant thing coming out of some dude’s stomach. My parents made the decision at that point to turn the movie off. The next day, I took the VHS tape and snuck into my bedroom to watch the rest of it. Yeah, I had a VCR in my room. No big deal. Kuato wasn’t nearly as scary during the light of day.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)
I know what you’re thinking: Chris, Terminator 3 was the worst of the Terminator franchise (that features Arnold). How can this be one of your favourite Arnold movies? The answer is simple: Yes, it is mostly garbage, but I remember going to see this movie with my high school friends during the summer between my first two years of university. There was a bad storm and the power went out part way through the movie. We got passes to come back another night to see the rest of it. It’s not often you remember the circumstances surrounding the viewing of a movie, but this is one of those rare circumstances.
Also, if you still don’t know why I like this movie, do you remember this scene?
End of Days (1999)
Satan has come to Earth and there is only one person who can stop him. Is it Jesus? No, of course not! Only Arnold has the power to stop such an evil being. In addition to fighting the forces of darkness, the man who once played Conan (not O’Brien, but that would be awesome) also teaches us a valuable life lesson:
No one can question why I love this movie, because everyone loves it. And if you don’t love Predator, there is something wrong with you. This movie features two future State Governors (bonus points if you know the Governor who isn’t Arnold) and Carl Weathers. You don’t need to go any further than that, but it also features an alien that hunts humans for sport, and a mud covered Governator delivering one of the greatest lines in cinema history.
Kindergarten Cop (1990)
When Arnold Schwarzenegger leaves this world and finds himself on the way to heaven, this is the movie that is going to get him past the gates. This is a classic fish out of water story, and it features a bad guy with a sweet ponytail. What else could you want in a film? There are a ton of awesome lines in this movie, but my favourite is about a possible medical diagnosis:
Of course, the films I have discussed here barely scratch the surface of the mosaic that is the acting career of Arnold Schwarzenegger. Twins (can’t wait for Triplets with Eddie Murphy), Jingle all the Way, True Lies, the (good) Terminator movies, Conan, Running Man, Junior… I mean… the list goes on and on. You may not have done it in a while, but do yourself a favour and watch a Schwarzenegger movie. They get better with age, I promise. Except for Batman and Robin. That movie will be awful forever.
So what’s your favourite Arnold movie? Answer the poll question below, and if your favourite isn’t on the list, feel free to mention it in the comments section.
I’LL BE BACK BAMPF!