What does a man do?

In this week’s post, we examine an age old question.  A man is about to become a father and his wife has left town for the weekend.  What does he do?

Well, he starts by staying late at work on a Friday and then has to walk part way home when his bus for some reason doesn’t go its usual route.

Then he makes himself a buffalo chicken wrap.  He is proud of how delicious it is.

He yells at a telemarketer from American Express who calls him 3 times in a row.

He catches up on his guilty-pleasure television show, Arrow.  He enjoys it, except for the parts where people in costumes talk just before fighting each other.  Pre-fight dialogue can be pretty terrible.

Then he watches Sixteen Candles for the first time and he can’t figure out why people like it so much.

After watching TV, he heads to bed and reads an awesome Judge Dredd comic where the hero fights a bunch of cannibals.

He is startled awake at 2 am when someone calls.  It is a series of beeps on the other end.

On Saturday morning, he gets himself some McDonald’s breakfast because he doesn’t want to go through the effort of washing a cereal bowl.

He goes out for lunch with a friend.

After lunch, he and his friend go out costume shopping for a murder mystery party.  He picks up a sweet leather jacket for $10!

He watches Robocop 3.

He wants his 2 hours back.

He reads a bunch of X-Men comics.

He makes himself some mini pizzas.  Mmm, tasty!

He picks up a controller and plays Red Dead Redemption: Undead Nightmare.

He enjoys shooting zombies and lighting them on fire.

On Sunday, he starts his day by going for a run.

He curses his local convenience store for not having point spread slips.

Then he praises his local convenience store because if they had what he wanted, he wouldn’t have gone to the grocery store.  And if he hadn’t gone to the grocery store he wouldn’t have acquired some delicious Girl Guide cookies.

He eats perogies and ice cream (not at the same time).

He watches football.  A lot of football.

He makes ravioli.  It’s not as good as he thought it would be.

He thinks about organizing his comics, but he decides to kill some more zombies instead. 

This leads him to think about all the tough choices life throws at him. 

But what does he do more than anything else?

He misses his wife.  😦

SAD FACE BAMPF!

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